So now I am in the supposedly glorious second trimester that is supposed to be the best experience of the entire pregnancy. Ummm.... that scares the shit out of me. First of all, let me admit that much to my chagrin, I have already gained like 40 lb. I'm halfway. The books tell you you're supposed to gain 25-34 lb the entire pregnancy. I am convinced each of my boobs weighs at least 10 lb. I think the books are full of shit. I'm starving, literally all of the time. I'm trying to make a point of eating as many vegetables and whole grains and nuts and other decidedly healthy crap as possible while also doing yoga or some annoying exercise activity for 30 minutes everyday. Yet still, my ass is continuing to increase in cushy-ness and my thighs are forming colonies of cellulite with an open invitation for any random clumps of cottage cheese to join in their cozy communes. This isn't helping my body image.
Along with my so-called healthy eating still adding to my fat collection, the healthier I eat, the more intense the heartburn is that decides to join me after meals as a nice reminder of my previous devouring. Seriously? This isn't my body's best endorsement for adding more vegetables to my plate.
Another wonderful feature that has been present with me from the beginning of this little parasite swimming around in my uterus up until now and apparently, so I read, until the end is the fantastically obnoxious feature of Snoqualmie Falls taking place right here in my own underpants. Vaginal discharge. Discharge is an understatement. More like, vaginal fluid stampede. Actually, that doesn't really make sense but I'll go with it. It feels like 5 times a day, I wet my pants. This is supposed to be my body's natural way of protecting against bacteria, but seriously? I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a glorious vacation from the use of panty-liners.
Lastly, so far it seems I am suffering this lovely condition of premature elderly-ness. This fantastic hormone called relaxin which is supposed to be totally helpful in making my pelvis loose and rubbery so baby can slide on out into the world is kicking in full force now and not only is my pelvis loosening up nicely, every other joint in my body is becoming nice and loose. Oh, my aching knees and back. Every hour in the middle of the night, I have to tear myself out of my warm cozy bed, unwind myself from the maze of pillows I have squished between my poor husband and me and wobble out of bed to pee yet again and as if my raging bladder and angry ligaments aren't enough, my knees can barely support me! It's a fight of battling against my aching wobbly knees so that I can clamber my way to the toilet and relieve the horrible pains of oh-my-god-I'm-pregnant-and-pee-is-the-bane-of-my-existence syndrome. I made that syndrome up, but it really seems legit.
There are actually amazingly wonderful things that are going along with this, however. The monthly ultrasounds are pretty amazing. Seeing my baby boy in progress kicking and wiggling around on a TV screen is indescribable. It's like, suddenly there is this connection within me to the earth and to humanity and I am filled with so much love, I could practically explode. I can now also feel him kick pretty pronouncedly, although this isn't consistent yet. He seems to like to give me some good precise jabs about 6:00 am, followed by some random kicks sporadically throughout the day, then a grand finale of martial arts sets in right before bed. Apparently, this is related to my blood sugar levels. And hey, I get hungry too at 6:00 am.
No comments:
Post a Comment